My recent quests to stay in the US……

My recent quests to stay in the US……

Thanks to the "one bad apple" that spoiled the "whole bunch baby", I have recently experienced a challenging time proving my legal status to work in the United States. Who would have thought this would happen to a 50 year old woman who has paid taxes and lived quietly here for over 45 years????
Here is a summary of my recent events:

1. Got offered a great job with my current employer. On first day of the "new hiring" on boarding process, I had to fill out a bunch of forms. One of which was to prove my I-9 status to work in the US legally. This is standard procedure for all full time employment jobs.
2. For employment, I had to provide a Driver's License, which I had, and a SSN card or Passport or a choice of a whole bunch of other "legal alien" possibilities. The new process within the last few monnths, does not allow an expired passport to be submitted. 
3. My passport expired a little over a year ago. No worries, no plans for me and Chloe to go overseas anytime soon J so using a passport was not an option.  However, could not use this as proof. 
   
4. After searching high and low, and in everyone drawer and purse I own, I cannot find my SSN card. I remember seeing this couple of years ago, and never have lost it before, but cannot find it ANYWHERE now. So I do not have a valid passport OR an SSN card. 
5. My employer hired me on July 6, but told me to go immediately to the SSN department and request a replacement card. This began my real journey.
   
6. On July 7^th, I went to the SSN dept to get a replacement. Lesson Learned = DO NOT EVER lose your card…the penalty of taking a number and waiting your turn for 2 hours to get to a window to plead your case is not fun way to spend an afternoon!!!! Please, I beg you – frame it and place it in a fireproof place while you still have time!
   
7. Replacement Process - Somehow I thought this would be a simple reprint, or a minimal of few days and I would a new card in the mail. Since I was adapted from Spain and a Naturalized Citizen to the US, I thought I was doing well by taking my Citizenship papers, along with all of my adoption papers,(which are in spainish),  Spanish birth certificate, etc. to help speed the process along. HA!
   
8. Step one when I was called up to the window after a 1.5 hour wait, (take a number system), the first question they ask me was my SSN number. I told them, they called me up in the SSN system immediately and asked for my driver's license. Ok, this should prove it was me ,and at some point in time I was proven worthy to be given a number in their system.
   
9. I politely told them my passport was expired, and is why I also brought all other documents with me. They logged all of this in, put in a request and gave me a temporary letter to present to my employer which basically stated I did have an SSN, but this letter did not prove I was a legal resident and they had submitted a request for that to be processed. The letter said it would take 2 – 6 weeks to process.
   
10. As of August 27^th, almost 2 months later, I had not received a replacement SSN card in the mail. My employer's HR dept is calling me checking on my "proof" and I explained the status. They suggest I go back to SSN ASAP and ask for a reason for the delay. (They have to have this proof on file, which I completely understand).
    
11. I painfully go back to the SSN dept…..take a number, and wait again. When I actually get up to the window, they ask me first for my SSN number, which I give, and then ask me for a Drivers License to prove it is actually me. They are ok with all of this….again.
    
12. Then they check my replacement card status in the system. My "replacement" card has to go all the way back thru immigration's in Seville Spain to prove my US citizenship is "legal" why? Because they SSN system now feeds off of the Department of Homeland security system to validate who is a legal citizen.
    
13. Well guess what? My citizenship and immigration papers have the name of Deborah Ann Busby; therefore Homeland Security system does not have a legal citizenship for Deborah Ann Ingram. AND there is not an easy process to change your name due to a marriage with DHS.  Therefore, Deborah Ann Ingram is not legal to DHS.  Somehow filing a change of name due to proof of marriage license with the DHS was not on the checklist "back in the day". Oh, now I remember why….DHS DID NOT EXIST!
    
14. Ok, so I thought I could go to the DHS government website and download a form to file out to begin the process of registering my marriage and change of name from. (By the way, I was lucky enough to find my original marriage license which I had not looked at in 20+ years). Result....No form is available to fill out a name change, address change – yes, no name change. So how does this work???
    
15. You have to go to DHS with a pre-scheduled meeting. The earliest on their calendar was mid September. AND it is in Atlanta!!!! Needless to say, I needed this done faster. I guess I had one other option, and that was to begin the long process of changing back to my maiden name on all of my "other" documents.  That would work, since both SSN and DHS know who Deborah Busby is.  But that process would also take too much time. 
    
16. So now I am going the route of trying to get my passport renewed. Expedited, expressed mailed, and 150.00 later it is off on its way. My destiny waits once again. Oh, I also had it blessed!
    
17. As of Saturday, September 5^th, I am now a proud owner of a RENEWED PASSPORT. (I guess their system is not linked into DHS-go figure).
    
18. I am now very happy, my employer is happy, and I have my passport ready to jump on a plane anytime and visit my birthplace – Seville, Spain, which is on my list to do. I am just glad I was not forced on a plane to be returned…….
    
19. On this Labor Day, I am thankfully for my country, my passport, my citizenship, and my God who blesses me!
    
    
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My recent help with "fashion" appropriateness in a department store.

Recently I went into the Galleria in one of the larger department stores and was looking at hosiery. There was a young lady there also. She soon stopped me and asked if I was an "expert" on pantyhose. I told her that I did not consider myself an expert, but maybe could assist.

She was about 20 years old, and wanted to know how to pick out the right color of pantyhose from all these choices? I tried not to smile, and politely asked her what type of event was she attending and what was she wearing? She told me that it was a business job recruiting event, and she was wearing a skirt. So, she was trying to get a job.

I gave my advice to go with the nude hose as they were generally more accepted for daytime and business wear. Then she asked how to pick the shade, and I helped her to match her skin tone. She was happy and agreed with me the color was good. She thanked me greatly and I walked away.

When I got about 20 yards away, it hit me to turn around a yelled "You did pick up the right size didn't you"? She replied that she did not know pantyhose came in different sizes! (Ok, they stretch but not THAT much). So I politely walked back and showed her how to use the sizing chart on back. Of course she had picked up the wrong size, and we found the right one.

She thanked me again, and I walked away feeling like I had helped her find her first job. Or at least look nice while trying!

What is wrong with the younger generation? They go bear legged all the time, and have never experienced the need or the thrill of how to wear hose! I was anxious to wear hose at an early age, and even remember wearing fishnets on Easter Sunday! I grew up knowing about sizes, types and colors. There are knee highs, thigh highs, sandlefoot, reinforced toes, toeless, texture, tights, and on and on.

Should we teach a class on how to dress for the occasion?

It did make my day to help the girl out. She was very appreciative and absolutely had no clue!!!

Here's to Pantyhose! By the way, if you Google on Pantyhose you get results on a whole bunch of choices that even I did not know existed!

My question? Do men really like pantyhose, or do they prefer natural?

 

 

How well do we “really” know someone?

I was reminded by face book surveys recently by taking a quize which allow friends answer questions on how well you know "name goes here". It usually reveals we really do not "know" each other like we thought we did. I learned by creating my own quiz that people either have a different perception of me than is "reality", or they need to spend more time with me to learn me better. That got me to thinking about how many times we all form opinions about people too quickly without really getting to know them. (You should ask me sometime about my 24 year marriage, or better yet…don't ask).

As we get older and mature, most of us gain much better perception on what reality is. I still make mistakes, and misjudge people, but I do take time before jumping into close relationships and making quick personal judgments of people. For instance, I believe that it takes "at least" 6 months of dating someone regularly before the true person is beginning to be revealed.

Who knows us best….only God!!! Who is next in line….our best friend, and maybe our therapist. Anyone that you can really trust and open up to is who knows us best. We all need people like this in our lives, people that can hold us accountable for our actions. (Believe me, a friend is much cheaper and better than therapists….and can go out to dinner….and you can call at all hours of the night and will actually answer).

I want to spend the rest of my life looking at people in a different and more positive way than I have in the past. I want to spend time getting to know them before I make any unreal judgments about their character. I want to love more people and be less critical. Most of all....I want to find sincere relationships which will last a lifetime no matter what.

How many people can you think of during your life in which you "judged" were different than what you really learned they were after spending time with them? This should teach us all a great lesson. Let's spend time getting to know each other better!

"We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere."
---Tim McGraw

"Never forget the days I spent with you. Continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours."
---Ludwig Van Beethoven

"TRUE FRIENDS WILL DRIVE YOU ANYWHERE".........Chloe Michelle Ingram

What I did on my summer vacation – by Deborah Ann Ingram

What I did on my summer vacation – by Deb Ingram

Chloe and I loaded up the car, put the top down and headed to the beach 05/26/09 – 05/30/09. We stayed at "Harley's Haven" beach house close to Sea Grove which is owned by a good friend of mine. Better yet, it cost me only the price of cleaning-can't beat that! Harley's Haven is not named after the bike, but is their pet dog, which is most likely spoiled more than Chloe.

The following are things we experienced:

• Fifty years old and my first vacation trip-alone! This needs to be on everyone's list of things to do BEFORE 50! Very relaxing!


• First trip for me to drive more than 3 hours in a car alone, out of state. Yes I have lived a sheltered life...


• Spent hours on the beach each day reading and listening to the waves. No music. Why is it that you NEVER get bored listening to the waves? I mean NEVER!


• Walked on the beach daily and began noticing the footprints left behind from the people in front of me. It is interesting to watch what patterns of different walks and strides each person has. I turned around and looked and my footprints and I pretty much walk heel to toe in a straight line and a little pigeon toed. Try looking at your footprints sometime and see what you leave behind, and then make adjustments where necessary.....


• Saw an older man who wore knee-high black socks with khaki shorts, tee shirt tucked in, and black shoes walking on the beach…. and it reminded me of my Daddy.


• Saw pretty little girls in their cute pink polka-dotted ruffled swimsuits sitting in a pile of wet seaweed and covering up with it. Did not seem to bother them or their parents. Nice to let kids be kids and just have fun!


• Saw swimsuits on people that would make anybody wonder "what were you thinking". My favorite one was an overweight grey hair gentleman who wore a replica of the American Flag –stars and all. It is great to be patriotic, but some things deserve a little more respect I think.


• Loved being topless at the beach – "car top" down, that is.


• Did NOT shop at any souvenir shop. First time ever!


• Watched a sandpiper for hours pecking its beak in the sand. I wondered if they sense where to peck or is it like panning for gold? It also has an remarkable sense to run to the edge when the tide is out and then watch for the size of the wave to calculate how far to run back before they would get wiped out by the oncoming wave. It seemed to judge it perfectly each time. Watch them sometime.


• Favorite place to eat – Red Bar at Grayton Beach, crab cakes! The best ever! Great jazz band plays there which has been together there for over 12 years. Go there.
  







• Noticed only ONE person walking with an iPod on the beach and it was NOT me. Everyone else was enjoying nature's sounds.


• Chloe loved the loose sand, but was scared of the sound of the waves and would not go near them.


• Read a Grisham novel in my sand chair with my feet in the water-my favorite thing to do. "The Associate - good book".


• Decided one could live on the beach and save money by doing so. No need for pedicures, tanning booths, therapists, stress reduction meds, or treadmills. "She sells sea shells down by the seashore"....


• Best of all – I forgot my blow dryer and round brush and went ALL week without one. Could not believe it! Can you???

Memories of beach trips gone by:

• Jacob – age 2 and first trip to the beach. Stayed on Thomas Drive in a condo and he cried "I wantta go to MY house" as soon as he walked in the door to the time we left. He did not like change then…..or now.


• Jacob catching little fish when the tide would roll out and put them into his bucket filled with water. I thought this was so cute, until I saw him putting one into his mouth to eat it….alive. I screamed and took the bucket away from him! I should have let him eat it and ignore it!


• High school trip with best friend- Day 1 stayed out in the sun ALL day and I thought I was getting a beautiful tan. Later that night I was completely red. We had 5 more days left, so what do you think I did…..go back out in it everyday. Needless to say I got a severe burn and my entire body peeled after many days. Never again…When I say severe….I mean I could only sleep with baby powder sprinkled on my sheets and no clothes touching my body.


• Miracle Strip and the Abominable snowman ride! Does anyone remember this? Let me know if you do.


• Bumper cars…. and the game where you rolled a ball into circles for points to win a prize "SKEET Ball". – who remembers this? They were everywhere on the beach.


• Airbrush t-shirts was a must have item each trip.


• Worst ever…..honeymoon on Daytona Beach – lost my diamond engagement ring in the ocean. No insurance and I cried so much that I could not be on the beach anymore and we had to leave.

What has not changed…?

• Can't believe Fontainebleau is still there – after all those hurricanes and years!


• Gulf World…… who goes there???


• Ambassador still there…..same historic look.
  
• BEST OF ALL….God's beauty and peace remains there in the sound of the waves and nature. Great time to reflect and rejoice!

“The waves of the sea Help me to Get back to Me.”
--Jill Davis

Our memories of the ocean will linger on, long after our
footprints in the sand are gone..."Anonomous

Half Century Mark Thoughts to ponder!

Half Century Mark Thoughts to ponder!

50 years! Wow, I still cannot believe I have been here for ½ a century! I recently had someone remind me of the biggest compliment in life was to know that someone has loved you (such as your Mom) for FIFTY years! That is a long time to love someone! That is the way Mom's love is; everlasting, no matter what!

What lessons have I learned so far in these 50 years? I have learned to be a little softer, to "pick" your battles, to laugh more, to work less, to not sweat the small things, and to enjoy time with people you love. I wish I had learned this at age 20! I have made some poor choices in life, and am still at the half-century mark making poor choices. However, now I always look at these as learned lessons and move on quickly. I have become more tolerant, patient, understanding, humble, and I have learned not to hang on to baggage which will weigh you down.

Don't get me wrong, I am still sometimes too focused on organizing, cleaning and striving for perfection, but now I often just kick back and let it go! For example, I can now go for at least 3 days straight without making up my bed. That is huge for me! Up until the last year or two I thought life would stop if my bed was not made every day! Now don't get me wrong, my parents did not instill this in me, it was just my nature and I could not help it. Again, I tried to make everything perfect, or at least seem that way.

Life is too short to not enjoy the simple things! Make memories that will last a lifetime! Don't focus too much on your career and enjoy family, they may not always be with you to enjoy! Careers come and go and you can find another one! Believe me….I have done it more than once recently. But, when family come and go they cannot be replaced.

Take pictures, have picnics, be involved with your kid's interest, do community service, get involved with your church family, and learn to FORGIVE and let go. Being bitter at someone or holding a grudge is only hurtful to us! I learned a long time ago that you can always look around and find people who are more successful, or who are in more struggles than you are. It is all relative!

Most of you know that I was adopted from Seville, Spain and became a U.S. Citizen when I was 5. I have lived in the U.S. since. I am very thankful for God placing me with a Christian family in the U.S., but have always pondered what purpose I have for being placed here-in Alabama? I don't know if I have found it yet, or maybe I have……..Maybe the sole reason I was placed here is to be able to worship God in the way I am able to NOW! I had to be christened in the Catholic Church as part of my adoption process in Spain, and also had to be named after a women in the Bible…..hence Deborah –"THE JUDGE"!

Deborah the Judge
"Deborah used to sit under a palm tree and the people used to come to her for judgment. It was improper for a woman to be alone in a house with a man. So she went outside and sat down in a public place under a palm tree where she instructed the people in Torah.
(Sefer Ha-Aggadah 109:21)"

Wow! I don't think I could really be a judge! Can you imagine a women being a judge and prophet back in bible times! Anyway, that is the name they picked for me. Sometimes I wished it was Ruth, or Mary, or even Rachel……but Deborah it was. My birth name, if you are curious, was Anna Sanchez and Ann is now my middle name.

50 years and I am doing things which I did not think I would at this point in my life. So, don't take anything for granted and trust God to roll with the punches with you. Laugh, Love and Live life to the fullest! Be thankful for the small things, and especially for the freedom to worship God freely!

"Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass, it is about learning to Dance in the Rain"

P.S. Never say "never", it will come back to haunt you! Learn it is ok to kiss a puppy!

 

 

 

 

 

Kindergarten Lessons at 50!

I was reminded by a friend's thought today.......

Did you pay attention in Kindergarten?

• Share everything


• Play fair


• Don't hit people


• Put things back where you found them


• Clean up your mess


• Don't take things that aren't yours


• Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody


• Wash your hands before you eat


• Flush.


• Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you


• Live a balanced life; learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.


• Take a nap every afternoon


• When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together


• Be aware of wonder

Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup ; The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup

They all die

So do we

And then remember the Dick and Jane books and the first word you learned the biggest word of all LOOK

(If you don’t remember the Dick and Jane BIG Books, sorry – they were awesome).

Maybe that is the downfall of the modern generation…..Dick and Jane has been replaced by cell phones, text messages, sponge bob square pants, guitar hero and my personal favorite Hannah Montana.

Think what a better world it would be if we all - the whole world - had cookies and milk about three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap.

Or if all the governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it is still true, no matter how old you are... when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together and have a cup of “Starbucks”.

What is a "Judge Free" Zone Anyway?

The thought of a Judge-Free Zone occurred to me after having a good friend and "fellow blogger" welcome me to the "world of Blogging" where I too can be judged by others. I wish it was different, but unfortunately it is very true. No matter how much we desire to just be creative, expressive, and thought-provoking, the truth is the readers will make a decision if they liked the content or if it was a waste of their time. At times the reader will be kind enough to share their judgment with others thru comments, and sometimes not, but you can always count on them having an opinion.

Opinions are like noses.......everybody has one!

The "Judge Free Zone" is a term used by the fitness club which I am currently a member and paying monthly dues to, and therefore helping to keep them in business. Planet Fitness-"A Judge-free Zone". That in itself is interesting! Why would anyone go to a gym for judgement anyway? I think it is pretty obvious why we would be there!

If you think about it, too many areas of our lives are constantly being judged by others. For instance, I am "single again" and also in the "dating" circuit which, by the way, is more fun than going to the dentist. No matter how you slice it, each new date it is inevitable that a decision will be made on both our parts. For instance, are we are compatible, enjoyable, pleasant, and "attractive" enough to spend time with again.

Another example is jobs and job interviews. We are constantly selling ourselves by our performance and qualifications. And then there is "Peer pressure" which is just a fancy phrase for trying to live up to the judgment of others. Bottom line is everyday our goals are focused to avoid complaints and negative criticism. Here's another new phrase we have to worry and be judged by, "political correctness". We cannot express our free speech rights because we may offend someone. Do these same people care if they are offending me? I don't think so! I am often offended by their openness, opinions and actions.

Our own children attempt to judge whether we are good parents, and likewise the parents are judging the children. I must admit that some of my special moments in life are when my son tells me what an awesome Mom I am.

And now I live in a neighborhood with the "HOA" police which tell me if I am not living up to the "Covenant". They send me warnings and ultimately fines if I have too many yard objects in the front of my house, if my garbage can is left out by the street too many days, if my bushes are dead and need to be replaced, and my personal favorite is when a holiday wreath remains on my front door past the allotted 30 days following the holiday observance.

.... we are judged if we are green-enough, whether we wear white before Easter, if we are size-appropriate, if we recycle the correct way (I just learned that you are not supposed to recycle the bottle caps on cokes because hard plastic is not recyclable), whether we prefer CNN or Fox News network, what type of music we prefer, and our taste in home decor and arts.

That is why I love my puppy Chloe so much! She loves me no matter what I look like, what I say, or who my friends are. All I have to do is brush her, feed her, pet her and give her shelter, which are all basics to life. There is something to be learned from Chloe in that we, as a society, continue to get far from the basics of life.

The Truth is God is the only Judge who really matter! We often worry the least amount on what He desires and what He thinks of our daily activities. For a long time I struggled with the fact that Jesus said the greatest commandment is to Love God with all your heart, and the second is to Love others as yourself. But if you stop and think about it, if we were to focus only on these two commandments on a daily basis, all other things would fall into place! We would love each other more, and judge them less. All of our other priorities would fall into place effortless.

Thanks for sharing Deb'sWorld today and hope you visit again soon.

P.S. Please indicate below how much you enjoyed this BLOG and leave comments so I can improve on my next one :)

Newat this Blog Thing....

Blog.....who would have thought that at age "@@^^" that I would be doing this on a "free" world wide web "www" site where anyone, anywhere could read it. WOW! Now I have something else to worry about.....what to blog next. It needs to be worth reading, and thought provoking, and also thearpy for me. But it seems like more stress :)

But why not Blog? It is better than reading a philosphy novel, or watching Jay Letterman late night (Why is he still on at 10:30 and where is Conan anyway)?

It is also better than updating my resume, doing taxes, paying billings, or balancing my check book. Who out there still balances their check book on a REGULAR basis anyway? (I am a reformed check book balancer who found help.....need help? give me a call!)

I don't know what my next topic may be, but I am sure I will obsess about it until I get it posted. So stay tuned.